Guestbook
To view older Guestbook Number 1 entries, click here
Comments and Notes:
Posted by
norasack
on
Jul 20th, 2010
Be the first to write on this page and win a kiss from Jenny :-)
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 20th, 2010
hello ...just wanna say hi....:))
Posted by
Nidda khamvongsouk
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Happy birthday to Capt Norasack.Hope this day fills your heart with love, joy and peace.
May all your wishes come true.
Posted by
norasack
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Happy Birthday to you too, Nidda. We left you a message yesterday to wish you a Happy Birthday. Thank you, thank you. I wish you a wonderful Birthday!!!!
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Congratulation, Eric! You are the first one to write on this page. And, the priiiiiiize is????
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Happy birthday, Capt. Norasack. May your trouble be bless, your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door.......And, don't forget to clean your balls. :)))....CHEERS!!!
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Happy birthday to both of my friends Norasack and NiddaMAY YOUR WISH COME TRUE....and good luck and more..:))
OOOPs I didn't realize that i won something ...THanks to my
friend Sam for reminding me hehehehehehe
Where and When can i claim my priiiiiiiiize ???? Norasack
P.s
if Jenny don't give it to me i will get it from you my friend Norasack.:)))
Posted by
Jenny
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
How dare you Capt. Norasack???? I thought we are friends??
Posted by
Viengkeo Philavong
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Happy Birthday Bro. Prad ta nah sing dai kor hai dai som prad ta nah der.
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
OH OH ...looks like Jenny is not cooperated ....too bad..SO!!!!! you owe me a kiss ok Capt Norasack...:)))
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
On second thought....Jenny..you just wish Norasack for his wishes come true on his birthday,,,,this could be his only
wish for this year......hmmmmm ;))
Posted by
norasack
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
only one birthday wish.........Eric gets his winning prize from Jenny..ooooomh....pieng...ma lieuk keuk kuk!!!!!! 555555555
Posted by
Manothay Mounivong
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
Happy birthday to both of you Norasack & Nidda wish you have a lot of luck and money and the most important thing have a good health !!!!!!!
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
To Jok : I will make your wish come true...To Jenny : I will not hurt you and will be a quick one...
Happy birthday Norasack...:))
Posted by
Vutiny
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
You guys just make me laugh so hard. Did Norasack call Phetsamouth about the prize? you guys must work together...sound like good team work.
Posted by
phetsamouth
on
Jul 22nd, 2010
No..Vut..this is just a coincidence and it's all aboutbirthday gift for one's obligation ..:))
Posted by
Jenny
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
Vut, you probably right! Norasack and Phetsamouth just plan the whole thing. Norasack, what did you get from Eric?? Whatever it is, you will have to split it with me, otherwise, Virginia here I come!!!@ Phetsamouth, you will have to take a raincheck for now:)
Posted by
Moe
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
Sabaidee Ladies and Gents,We would like to invite everyone to join us for Dragon Boat Festival in Denver this weekend 7/24 and 7/25...On Saturday we will have festival in Lao Temple....with special guests Ted Sengdara with the band from Oklahoma and Tha Khiengsombath from Oregon will entertain and rock the mile high city until dawn...all profits will donate to Lao Temple....kor kop jai Ted, Tha and the band tee mee nam jai ma soy watt lao in Colorado......
Just a little late...but better than never....and never say never !!!!!!!!!!!!!.....
PS, Please contact Jenny Rattana any question....
Posted by
Vutiny
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
Raincheck? any expiration date?Knowing these two guys for long time, I think I can tell what they are up to, right Phetsamouth?
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
Well, Jenny i was gonna give Jok a kiss too...so..if you split with him you will have a kiss and half from me...:))@ Vutiny, it will rain when i see Jenny :))
Posted by
Vutiny
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
If you want to make sure it rains, come to Oregon.
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
I know Vut.....it rains all the time in Oregonbut you guys never carry any umbrella...;))
Posted by
Jenny
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
That's correct! There will be a very slim chance for the rain in Colorado.... so Eric, in order for you to claim this prize, you will either have to visit or move to Oregon!! One more thing, the raincheck has no expiration date on it but it will only be "valid" for the SINGLE MAN!!!! lol
Posted by
norasack
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
Eric...save the "Check" for a rainy day...555555 raincheck, get it? 5555555 lol
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 23rd, 2010
Got it bro....but i will check with Jenny first..in case she changes her mind....you know >>:))))
Posted by
Moe
on
Jul 24th, 2010
Good day friends,Please have a wonderful weekend....Golfer enjoy golfing...shopper enjoy shopping...if you decide staying home please...please enjoy the most important people in your life and for what ever you'll do....have a pleasant doing it......LIFE IS GOOD ONLY YOU TREAT IT RIGHT..............cheers...!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by
Ped
on
Jul 24th, 2010
I'm a bit late,any consolation prize for me? ^_^
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Jul 25th, 2010
Hey guys, any prize left over?? Ped, you are right. We're a little bit late...:)
Posted by
Phetsamouth
on
Jul 25th, 2010
Alright Sam and Ped...i will give you guys a hug if and only if Jenny pay me :))
Posted by
Jenny
on
Jul 26th, 2010
Eric, I will pay you under two conditions, when it rains on your single day!! lolIt was very nice to see both ai Tha and Bouathet in Denver on the past weekend! So much fun and enjoy the best entertainment from both musician/singer. You guys are the best!! It was a short visit but it was great and thanks again for the help and support to Lao Community in Denver...Hope to see you guys again soon:))
Posted by
Moe
on
Aug 1st, 2010
Still Rocking....Master Sam...thanks for the joke....I thought I had dream about that....ha ha ha....keep the shots coming.....like to stay young forever....CHEERS!!!!!
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Aug 1st, 2010
I thought you might like counting hardwood floor better, huh Doc. Moe. Or, the one on your e-mail...Never ever drink again!! LOL
Posted by
norasack
on
Aug 2nd, 2010
never drink again....ouch!!!!!! love that joke.
Posted by
Moe
on
Aug 3rd, 2010
Master Sam....If next time I drink...when I get in the room I will make sure who is in there with me...and make sure no camera in the room either....ha ha ha....... Man!!!..that was close call...good thing didn't see my face...ha ha ha...... Hey!!! what about you...Capt.....have any experience like that.......
Posted by
Peu Siridavong
on
Aug 3rd, 2010
Moe, you need more practice bro. Next reunion it will be Sam's turn to count the hardwood floor. 555, just joking. I hope next time you guys will be counting more ladies then the floor. 555, just kidding.
Posted by
norasack
on
Aug 4th, 2010
I don't count hardwood floor any more....I count the tiles in the bathroom :-)
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Aug 4th, 2010
Hey Peu, whatever it is, I'll make sure you are included, buddy. 55555
Posted by
Moe
on
Aug 5th, 2010
Hello my friends, Peu, I though I got certified with that on that night...guess still need more classes...huh!!!..ha ha ha..
Capt. Jork, I know you have done that...but you still need to take test from us...right guys? 55555
Master Sam, we also need to include the twins of Danny DeVito with us next time around...or we can call him DD...you know who I am talking about...right?...ha ha ha...
Conclusion: We sure had good memories to talk about until next one...of course I will not be the bad dud for next round...we will take turn..huh!!!...
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Aug 5th, 2010
Wow! Doc. Moe, I thought you are still recovering from yesterday drinking after golfing.
Posted by
Moe
on
Aug 7th, 2010
Master Sam, I recovered faster than any where else...of course...home town....breathing better in high altitude....ha ha...wanna check it out...come on over...got some rocky mountain water and rocky mountain oysters waiting for you...official invitation....of course...CHEERS!!!!!
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Aug 9th, 2010
Thank you Doc. Moe. I'll keep that in mind!
Posted by
norasack
on
Aug 23rd, 2010
Just got back from my vacation...and will get the site update soon :-)
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 3rd, 2010
Hello friends,Since everyone is so quiet, I have something for you to read:
"WHAT EACH KISS MEANS"
- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...
Happy Friday, my friends! TGIF :)
Posted by
Moe
on
Sep 4th, 2010
Master Sam !!!!!!!!.....What about kiss on the ASS.......what that means???????....hehehehehee
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 6th, 2010
Mmmmmm....That was a tough question, Doc. :)))))) Does anybody know?
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 7th, 2010
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 8th, 2010
Two elderly guys talking:One said to the other: "My 85th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me SUV".
Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine an SUV!
What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup! Socks, Underwear, Viagra".
Have a wonderful day, my friends! :-)
Posted by
Jenny
on
Sep 9th, 2010
That's a good one Sam! It will be your turn soon:) Here is another joke for today....Irish WomenWHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date : You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite oral sex.
Second Date: You get more great oral sex.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get oral sex again.
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date : Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
The POINT?
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 9th, 2010
Definitely IRISH WOMEN, Jenny! But, don't forget to add SUV gift on 50th anniversary..:)
Posted by
Ped
on
Sep 10th, 2010
Sam you have to wait for 20yrs for a third one ...
Posted by
Ped
on
Sep 10th, 2010
...and Jenny, what about Lao Women?
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 15th, 2010
Hi everybody! Just stop by and say "Hi". It's hump day. Hope you all have a fantastic day.
Posted by
jenny
on
Sep 15th, 2010
Ped, Lao Women are the same as Chinese Women since we are all Asian....hehehe
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 15th, 2010
Pew! What a relieve! Great answer, Jenny.
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 15th, 2010
No sex since 1955 A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked,
'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ''It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''
''Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?' '
'1955,' he replied.
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
(Gotta love military time)
Posted by
jenny
on
Sep 17th, 2010
5555 That was a good one Sam! Here is another good joke for Friday....The Obedient Wife'
> >
> > There was a man who had worked all his life, had
> > saved all of his money, and was a real 'miser'
> when
> > it came to his money.
> > Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I
> > die, I want you to take all my money and put it in
> > the casket with me. I want to take my money to the
> > afterlife with me.'
> >
> > And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of
> > her heart, that when he died, she would put all of
> > the money into the casket with him.
> >
> > Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket,
> > his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and
> > her friend was sitting next to her. When they
> > finished the ceremony, and just before the
> > undertakers got ready to close the casket, the
> wife
> > said,
> >
> > 'Wait just a moment!'
> > She had a small metal box with her; she came over
> > with the box and put it in the casket. Then the
> > undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled
> > it away. So her friend said,
> >
> > 'Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all
> > that money in there with your husband.'
> > The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian;
> I
> > cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I
> was
> > going to put that money into the casket with him.'
> >
> > You mean to tell me you put that money in the
> casket
> > with him!?!?!?'
> > 'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all
> together,
> > put it into my account, and wrote him a check....
> If
> > he can cash it, then he can spend it.'
hehehheehe
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 18th, 2010
5555 That was a good one, Jenny!
Posted by
sithavone
on
Sep 23rd, 2010
Hello Sam and phetsamouth.I am so happy that I finally found you guy at Lycee reunion pictures. I've been searching forever for oudom vientian long lost friends,I missed all those good time. I talk to chandy other day. I live in Tx since 1987. Here is my # 806 381-1246, cell at 290 8623.
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Sep 26th, 2010
OMG! Sithavone, I am glad to see you here. I'll call you as soon as I have a chance.
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Oct 8th, 2010
Have you ever wondered what the difference between Grandmothers and Grandfathers is?Well here it is:
A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time -- just him and his granddaughter. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her Grandfather.
'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'
'Oh yes, Granddad' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? 'We didn't see a single asshole, blind bastard, dip shit, or dick head anywhere we went today!'
Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Oct 13th, 2010
Subject: The Irish ProstituteAn Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?
Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad...I became a prostitute.'
'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad -- as ye wish.
I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a
Ten-bedroom mansion, plus a $5 million savings certificate.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex.
And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible
that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club...(takes a breath)...
And an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'
'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl!
I thought ye said a Protestant!
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!'
Posted by
Moe
on
Nov 4th, 2010
Norasack I would like to say thank you very much for sharing video of ON SAFER GROUND.......if any...anyone who watched this video...I know they will have their moment.... it is not just about those lao boys with their games.....and I love to see more those kind of video......again thanks....YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by
norasack
on
Nov 9th, 2010
Please leave more message for your friends.....post any news....Kop Jai der.
Posted by
Moe
on
Nov 13th, 2010
Hi friends.........love you........, Go Rapids!!!!!...MLS conference finals tonight 7:30 MT.......if you care.......miss you beaucoup.........
Posted by
Chanthaboun KEOMALAVONG
on
Nov 18th, 2010
sa bai dee everyone if you need some seven up Mp3 songs please click ( sevenupband.com ) and some southalith song too..Free download
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Nov 24th, 2010
Count down to 1 more day to Turkey day! Wish all of you have a great time with family and friends! Happy Thanksgiving to All! :)
Posted by
Moe
on
Dec 9th, 2010
Hello friends,Happy Holiday to everyone.... wish you all the best and good health forever young.....
Posted by
norasack
on
Dec 21st, 2010
MERRY X-MAS DER!!!!!!!
Posted by
Jenny
on
Dec 22nd, 2010
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and happy, healthy New Year of 2011 !!
Posted by
Vutiny
on
Dec 24th, 2010
A year has gone by so fast. It is less than 6 months ago that we met in Anaheim to celebrate the 3rd reunion.For me and my family, we have many accomplishments. We moved to our new home in July. Our house is totally accessible for Tim and he has his workout area now. Tim gets stronger week by week, slowly but he makes progress. He just finished the associate degree last term and he is waiting to get admit to Portland State University. He still plays the Wheelchair rugby and he hopes to get invite to the trial out for the US Development team in May 2011.
Ted (my younger son) is in college, he works part time and spend a lot of time with his brother. He still loves to eat noodle and eggs...and still order the same dish at Red Robin.
Pat is very busy man. He still loves to roast coffee and enjoys to talk about Lao coffee. He bought the new pallet BBQ grill and he is cooking more and more.
For me, I know I have been slowing down quite a bit. I realize that Life is too short, why worry about the uncertain. I am working part time as the IBM contractor. My work is very flexible and it allows me to travel with Tim to his games and other activities.
I am so blessed to have such the wonderful family and surrounding with many good friends who care and support, who share and forgive.
Merry Christmas to all my dearest friends and have a safe New Year. May the 2011 be a successful year to all of us.
Love,
Vutiny
Posted by
norasack
on
Jan 3rd, 2011
Another year!!!! Thank you for your friendship!!!!!
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
Jan 9th, 2011
Happy New Year, my friends! Wishing you the best of luck!
Posted by
Moe
on
Jan 13th, 2011
Sa bai dee all,It has been 12 or 13 days into 2011 hope everyone pleased with it....but is never and ever too late to have the best of what you tried or will try to do in life....as you all know we are here to enjoy of what you do or have.....just look on your side and see people around you...those are your wishes.....
Please enjoy and good luck for the rest of 2011
Posted by
Norasack Pathammavong
on
Feb 15th, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day Der!
Posted by
Moe
on
Apr 14th, 2011
Sok dee pee mai to everyone ...pad tha na sing dai hai dai dang jai kub dang kouam moung mai der...sa thou..sa thou..sa thou..anou mo tha meeh....
Posted by
Sam Khamphilavong
on
May 3rd, 2011
Hi Norasack,Just wanted you to know that we all are thinking of you as always and wish you a speedy recovery! Hope to see you up and around soon.
Posted by
Eric P. Sounthavong
on
May 7th, 2011
hi Norasack....get well soon ok...love you man...Phetsamouth.
Posted by
Norasack
on
Oct 12th, 2011
Sabaidee friends. Thank you for coming and visit our site. Please feel free to leave a message for us or your friends here.
Posted by
Lucinda
on
Dec 4th, 2011
That's 2 celver by half and 2x2 clever 4 me. Thanks!
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on
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EATING DISORDER???
A teacher asks her class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.
The first little boy says, "Alligator."
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second little girl says, "Predator."
Yes, that's another big word. Well done."
Then little Johnny puts up his hand and says, "Vibrator."
After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, "That is a big word too, but I don't think we can count it because it doesn't eat anything."
"Well my mum has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"
The first little boy says, "Alligator."
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second little girl says, "Predator."
Yes, that's another big word. Well done."
Then little Johnny puts up his hand and says, "Vibrator."
After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, "That is a big word too, but I don't think we can count it because it doesn't eat anything."
"Well my mum has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"
THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST
THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I
had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger
sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore
very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would
regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice
view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near
anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come
over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived,
and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me
that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just
once before I got married and committed my life to her
sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a
word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want
one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and
frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment,
then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door,
and headed straight towards my car. Lord... And behold, my entire
future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his
eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed
our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to
the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep
your condoms in your car.
DRUNK
This is for you Doc. Moe.....Enjoy.
drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”
“Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”
So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.
The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”
FISHES IN A TANK
2 fishes are swimming in a tank:
One fish asked the other: "Do you know how to drive tank?"